These last few weeks I've suffered from what I categorize as the "To-do Overload Syndrome". Lots to do on my "have-to-do" list with little to no time to do it. So far my clocks have refused to slow down to my pace!
First and foremost, as I've clearly announced, I have a brand new grandbaby. One who lives close-by--- with a mom who is brand new to her "mommy/protector/I-am-everything-to-you" role --- who I'm very close to --- and who could use my help. So, I give the best support that I can. I devote my early mornings to calming them both down, holding, rocking (the baby, not the daughter), discovering THE answers to how it all needs to be done - only to find out that I know NOTHING! The fact is all of my great words of wisdom go down the drain the second I call out my "you should do this" bragging rights. My new little grandbaby does the opposite of what I strongly predict she will do if only her mother would take heed to my advice!
After I've finished proving how much I don't know about how to calm a baby, or how to insure my daughter and son-in-law a good night's rest, I come home to my house of quiet . . . head down from my motherly-advice-failures; Back to my life at the computer to be productive - To my life at the drawing board to create - To the ga-jillioneth interruption that keeps me unfocused from all the work that I've set out to get done - To the sun that is setting as a reminder of how quickly the day has passed with zero accomplishments on my part. I am now filled with the "A" word: Anxiety. . . . . . big time!
What to do? The question that plagues me! Well, tonight I made a conscious decision to do what I never do.... that we all need to do at times like these. I decided to do NOTHING. To make no decisions. To not even glance at a business book --- and to stay a mile away from my demanding computer. I pulled up a lounge chair on my deck, grabbed a magazine from the stack that I never take the time to read, poured myself a chilled glass of wine, lit Citronella candles, and smelled the freshly mowed grass before me. I was in HEAVEN. Being in a cabana in Tahiti wouldn't have felt any better. The trees were still, the sky was tranquil, my overactive mind was on "pause", and my emotions were soooo at peace with one another. Wow! Why don't I do this more often??? (The one thought I allowed myself to think).
Tomorrow morning I'll be ready to tackle my to do list with less crowding. My creative juices will be fresh, and I won't even try to have all the answers for my new-mom daughter. Letting go of all the intricate puzzle pieces that make up one's day - if even for an hour - is revitalizing. Taking the time to actually see the simple beauty around us is blissful. Bottom line, it's taking in the big picture of life that puts our to do list in perspective and gives us the freedom to move forward more effectively in our accomplishments.